When I was a kid, eating my chicken noodle soup for lunch in our kitchen at home, my Mom put a package of goldfish crackers in front of me for my soup...just like she always did. But on this particular day, she said something profound that stuck with me for my entire life. Pointing to the little guy who was was going against the trend, she said, "BE THAT FISH!" and walked away. I took a moment to look at the lone fish and noticed he had a smile on his face, not like the others. They just blended in. I actually liked him. I could see he was enjoying himself. It was one of those childhood moments you file away in your brain. You don't know why you do, but you just do. And then, as life happens, that memory would pop into my brain and I saw the lesson.
I wasn't the smartest kid in the classroom, nor certainly the most popular, but I found "my truth" at bucking the peer group system on occasion. When everyone else decided the trend was worth pursuing, I'd pause, think about the what was happening, then go the other way, just to see what the road less traveled was like. Sometimes I lost out on an opportunity. No doubt about that. But more times than not, when I was THAT FISH, I rose above the trend and came out on top. Not all my friends agreed with my decisions. In fact, I was the butt of many jokes. But time and again, I watched my classmates, my friends and acquaintances follow the trend and end up flailing, fighting for sanity, for security, which only emphasized what I knew in my heart: I had actually made a good decision being THAT FISH on THAT occasion.
Of course there have been many, many times I did become like the rest of the group and buckle to perceived peer pressure throughout my life, and I got burned ... personally and/or financially. It happens. We are all faulty by nature and we are designed to be part of something larger than ourselves. That said, envy or "FOMO" just isn't a good look on anyone. Those are the worst foundations to make any kind of decision.
So how does this apply to personal finances? Easy. Don't succumb to group think. Your circumstances are unique, your dreams are unique and your goals are unique. As such, your budget is also unique. Learn to pause, take a step back, think things through before taking action and then...BE THAT FISH!
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