You got the budget written, and your new habits have been established in harmony with the plan you’ve put into place. So far, everything you’ve done has paid off and staying on the current trajectory, means you’ll see it all come to fruition by the target date… provided, the X factor doesn’t happen. And what is that X factor? It’s anything life throws at you just to mess with you. It’s known as Murphy’s Law: That which can go wrong, will go wrong. Remember the Allstate Insurance meme, Mayhem? That would be the spawn of Murphy’s Law.
We have all been visited by “Mayhem.” He is akin to the Cousin Eddie character from the National Lampoon movie franchise starring Chevy Chase. Eddie is not someone you really want to come-a-callin’, but when he does inexplicably show up, you put on a brave face and just deal with his visit. It’s not something to fear, just something to manage.
What’s a Cousin Eddie moment? Emergency room visits, severe health diagnoses, car repairs, tutoring for kids, household floods, unexpected family stopovers, job loss, and theft…just to name a few. When the Eddie visit first happens, you’re in shock and momentarily out of sorts, not able to think about next steps. That’s ok. This is the time you must compose yourself and figure out a way to accept the situation. It’s a process that can take anywhere from a few moments to a few weeks. The most important thing to remember is to never let the situation paralyze you. Timidity is not how we handle an Eddie. Instead, we take a moment to observe it, evaluate it for what it really is, and then either get creative embracing the new normal or work around the temporary situation. That’s what we call “gaining perspective.” Our visionary goal remains the same, but the path to get there is slightly altered.
When we were first married, my husband, and I had just made the deposit on our starter home, a very small 1100 SF palace with a huge yard. We saw nothing but potential. We could build out here, tweak this, do that. We had one beautiful child already and truly saw ourselves having more kids to fill up the back yard. But during our final inspection of the house, I clearly remember fatalistically declaring, “The last thing we need right now is another pregnancy…I mean it will be hard as hell if we have another child for the next couple of years. Instead, let’s just hold off, rebuild our savings, and get those credit cards paid off. Plus, I just got that new job less than 30 days ago, and the insurance won’t kick in for another 60 days.” I had our plan. It was in place and in my mind, we were humming along.
A few weeks after my little speech, we were in the living room hanging pictures, just getting acclimated to our new home, when there was a knock at the door. And who was it, but Eddie carrying a stork. “You’re about 2 months pregnant,” said Eddie, “and I’m going to be hanging around for the next few years merely to stress you both out.” And just like that, Eddie moved in. Permanently.
I couldn’t wrap my head around this at first. The thing to remember is that when an Eddie moves in, his buddy, Mayhem, is always nearby. Instinctively, I knew we were facing insurmountable debt. I was paralyzed with fear. I blamed my husband, then I blamed me and finally, I blamed Eddie. How could this possibly be? We are going to lose the house, disappoint our families and ruin our lives. Talk about losing perspective.
God, however, always has this technique of using other people to snap you out of it. At the next weekly family dinner, my husband and I told my parents our news, expecting them to say, “tsk, tsk…,” but on the contrary, they got overwhelmingly excited. Then we told my husband’s family, and they had the same reaction. Well gosh, what was wrong with me? I decided to jump on the excitement train and develop a new perspective. (Side note: my husband had been on the excitement train from the beginning, I just couldn’t see it with all my pessimism). Somehow, someway, we were going to make this work. We didn’t know exactly how, but we knew when there was a will, there would be a way. And low and behold, God showed up again! The following week, a letter arrived from my former employer’s health insurance company. “You have 30 days to decide if you want to sign up for COBRA…” Boom! On our current budget, we couldn’t comfortably afford COBRA premiums, but it was a lot better than trying to pay the entire hospital maternity bill on our own. My husband stepped up, got a second job, and we had COBRA coverage. We kept our house, had our second child, and filled the back yard with kids…other people’s kids.
A few years after the birth of our second child, we decided to lay Mexican tile throughout the house. It was our first big DIY undertaking together. We didn’t have a savings for emergencies (big mistake!), but we did save up just enough money for our project’s budget and not a penny more. What could possibly go wrong? We shopped and shopped until we found the perfect price on tile (internet was not around in the 1980’s). We made the purchase, borrowed a friend’s truck, loaded and then unloaded the tile ourselves until our fingers were literally bleeding. The tiles were about two thirds laid, when a torrential rainstorm came and revealed we had a very, very leaky roof situation. Mayhem had arrived! Water was coming down the walls inside our tiny dining room, the room out of which we were all living while the tile was setting and drying in the other rooms. And just because it would be more fun for Eddie and Mayhem, both of our kids were completing their first days of itching and fever due to the chicken pox. Utter bliss!
Now we had to come up with money to fix the roof. We did what every person who doesn’t have an emergency fund does, we panicked and began to take stock in our credit availability. We lost faith. We were calling friends to give us referrals for good roofing companies. And just before we were ready to pull the roofing contract trigger, God intervened, yet again, at the very last possible minute. That’s His thing, it’s what He does. In making our calls to our circle of friends, we stumbled upon two guys who were just itching to do a DIY project on someone else’s home for practice. This was the proverbial lottery win in our little corner of the world. They showed up like the beam of light God intended them to be and helped us fix our roof. It wasn’t pretty at first, no one had experience fixing roofs, but as everyone got the hang of what needed to be done, it turned out quite nicely. Not only did we survive the ordeal, we threw a party because everybody had something to celebrate: our roof was fixed way below what we thought it would cost, others learned a new DIY skill for their homes, and still another found the courage to start a handyman business. Loads of celebratory toasts were being made…and all because of our little Mayhem visit.
The moral of these stories is this:
1) You’re going to have unplanned situations in your life. Eddie and Mayhem are always skulking about. You just don’t know how or when either will show up. The most important thing is to gain perspective. No matter your financial situation, try the opposite of panic: FAITH. Have faith in your abilities, have faith in the Universe (God), have faith in family and friends, and have faith the answer will present itself.
2) Establish an emergency fund BEFORE undertaking any optional DIY project and in addition, have one and a half times cash on hand for the actual DIY project before it gets started, allowing for unplanned last-minute expenses.
What life does to us depends on what life finds in us. Develop your faith, gain perspective, and utilize critical thinking skills with your finances. Then, get ready for Eddie and Mayhem.
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