People are often afraid of being vulnerable because they equate it with weakness and feebleness. But such is not the case. By allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you are open to being “coached.” With gullibility, on the other hand, you are open to being “had.” One is a temporary situation and the other is a trait. So, let’s dive into this.
VULNERABILITY: Temporary susceptibility to physical and/or emotional occurrences that could result in negative consequences.
By its very definition, being vulnerable means you are teachable for a moment in time. For example, you decide to start your own business. You’ve done your research, recognized a need for your offering, wrote your business plan, crafted your marketing, and opened the proverbial doors. For all intents and purposes, you’re good to go. This is the point where every new business owner becomes vulnerable to circumstances beyond their control. You hired a dishonest employee, your distribution source failed you, or you lost out on paying customers because of…I don’t know…some crazy virus. Who can predict events beyond your circle of influence? But from the experience, you gain invaluable insight, learn a new research skill, and become a tad bit wiser. Life has just coached you. Vulnerability is part of growth.
GULLIBILITY: The trait of being easily deceived, duped, and manipulated.
Gullible types are easily persuaded to believe others at face value. When you find someone who has a dire need or is a slave to their ambitions, such as the desire to be rich, famous, approved or liked, you typically find gullibility. Ambitions are good, but what’s missing is the courage to ask hard questions or the ability to trust instincts. And who hasn’t been gullible believing in a person or situation with no merit? We’ve all judged ourselves invincible at some point in our life.
Let’s look at a story of two friends, Howard and Joseph, who define the terms Vulnerable and Gullible, in one real-life story. Howard badly needed a car and at the same time, wanted to help out his friend Joseph who was going through a rough time. Joseph had a car but could no longer keep up with the car and insurance payments. The two struck up a deal. Upon a handshake, Howard “bought” the car from Joseph, but with no paperwork involved in the sale. Essentially, Howard took over Joseph’s car and insurance payments, while it was still in Joseph’s name. Problem solved. Howard got the car he desperately needed, and Joseph did not have to suffer a collection on his credit report.
Three months after his financial situation vastly improved, Joseph returned with the spare key and repossessed the car from Howard, who had no recourse because nothing was in writing. It was a “gentlemen's agreement.”
Vulnerability is a temporary situation born from a calculated decision, whereas gullibility is a state of mind that can be changed once it’s successfully recognized.
To his credit, Joseph took a calculated risk that Howard would neither have any accidents while the car was in his possession, nor lose it to theft. He knew, from experience, that Howard was responsible and dependable. Joseph allowed himself to be temporarily vulnerable in the face of his friend’s good will. Howard, on the other hand, paid someone else’s bills for three months because he believed their verbal agreement was a done deal. That’s gullibility. Not only did Howard never trust Joseph again, but he learned a valuable lesson about written contracts. And that’s a happy ending.
How do we prepare ourselves for those vulnerable and gullible moments with our personal finances? Easy. With vulnerability, you prepare for the worst with savings accounts, emergency funds, proper investments and conduct due diligence research. Then let go and let God. It’s all you can do and usually, it’s enough. With gullibility, you establish a strong defense with a good offense: you stick to the budget and learn the skill of asking probing questions. And if you think you can’t trust yourself, add an accountability partner to the equation. Whether vulnerable or gullible, practice prudent behaviors that will become automatic habits, and do what is necessary to learn the art of trusting your instincts.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re gullible, but being gullible will always make you vulnerable.
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